Coping with loss

My dad passed away Thursday, Oct. 30, at about 5:30 a.m. central time. He had abdominal cancer. Although I am very sorry he is gone and miss him very much, I am glad he is now at peace, and that he didn't linger/suffer long. I made it to WI in time to be with him in his final moments. Although he was barely conscious when I arrived at the hospice, at about 1 a.m., he recognized my voice when I told him I was there - he opened his eyes and said my name. I will always be grateful for that memory, that he knew I was there for him at the end. We weren't very close in his final years, but hopefully my being there when it mattered most counts for something.

I have many memories to treasure, mostly from when I was a little girl and Dad and I were closest. He took me to baseball games, played baseball and basketball and tennis with me, taught me how to ride a bike and went for many rides with me, etc. All the things that a dad does with his daughter.

He had a very nice funeral/visitation, complete with military honors since he was in the Air Force Reserve. His favorite big band music was played, and there was a video loop showing various pictures of him throughout the years.

Well, other news seems to pale in comparison, but in other news... I got a new tattoo. It is of the sweet Siamese face of my cat. It's on my lower right calf, and it turned out beautifully - even has his lovely blue eyes. When I was in WI for all the upheaval concerning my father, I kept it hidden from my mom. She had enough worries, no need to upset her further. I don't know whether I will ever reveal it to her. Maybe a long time from now, who knows.